Which Do You Prefer?

As I live and learn, I have come full circle. As a young man growing up in the largely-segregated suburbs of Chicago, I always was taught to associate tagging and graffitti with crime and danger. Seeing gang scribbles or "(so-and-so) CAN'T BE FADED" spray-painted was all I needed to see in an area to want to not stay there.

Of course, graffitti is actually criminal for the most part, and very often, places covered in gang scrawling require a respectful caution. What I didn't realize though is that as I moved on in life, I would come to find that the scrawlings of concerned liberal caucasians are actually a much clearer indicator to me that I want to get out of the area as quickly as possible.

I myself am a concerned liberal caucasian, which is why my spider-senses are set reeling whenever I spy the word-work of some outraged whitey who wants me to "STOP BUSH" or "STOP OBJECTIFYING WOMEN" or "RESIST". It truly is a quality of life issue, albeit a highly localized one. Righteously indignant whitey vandals are a dead giveaway that you are entering an area teeming with the horrors of aspirational bohemians. This is no place for common scum.

Clatches of world-weary trust-fund caucasians eating $12 organic salads! A gauntlet of urban professionals patrolling the sidewalk with their single, Faberge-egg offspring in $700 off-road baby strollers! A turkey-shoot for hawkers of $4 single-serving orange juice!

You can be sure they know exactly who is a local and who isn't. "YOUR MOMMA BITCH" starts to feel comforting.