Back home from the big city and sitting out the weekend with the ugly makins' of a cold setting up in my sinuses. Basically, NYC was as cold and shitty as it comes, the airplane home was so packed I basically spent 6.5 hours in a Guantanamo Stress Position, and I came home just as the amazing Indian Summer 2008 died out. I actually don't think cold wet weather gives colds as much as having to sit cheek-by-jowl with one's fellow man aboard The Great Petri Dish In The Sky. It took a day to germinate, but while I was waiting, I got a "normal headache" to beat the band (the kind I got before I had my spine problems - I used to get Cluster Headaches a lot as a kid, and occasionally get one still, but it is rare.) Basically, since getting home from NYC, I have been home having a staring contest with the ceiling, something I excel at.

I am actually not feeling too bummed otherwise. For one, NorCal REALLY needs the rain, and it pleases me that we are starting the rainy season with a good soaking. Moreover, I have decided that my big project come spring is to master the watching of the blooming of wildflowers come April and May. I know...I am single, live near San Francisco, rarely date, and have 3 cats in my apartment. To add the watching of wildflowers to that list might as well be an obsession with Judy Garland. I understand how these things work, and I can't control how I am perceived. I am straight. Really! I am straight AND I am going to enjoy the mountains in bloom come spring. I can live with this dichotomy. In order for me to enjoy that undertaking, there needs to be rain; thus, I am happy that the rains have come.

True, this does bring to an end my wild summer of Western Exploration. This was a summer to beat the band to be sure. I began adding novice-level exploration of Oregon and Nevada to my work towards mastering California. While I don't expect to ever truly become completely familiar with the far west, and neither do I expect to master California, I do hope to know my way around it at least conversationally by the time I leave, should it come to pass that I leave. I have been giving a lot of thought to where things are going, and I realize that at this point, I really can't see too much farther into the future than the spring, and should the economy go against my current employment status, I am not even sure about that. If I remain employed (knock particle board), I will definitely be around til spring. After that, I am open to moving on if I can make it work.

My moving on, that could mean going over the East Bay Hills to the warmer burbs in Contra Costa County, or maybe just down the bay to San Leandro, Hayward, or Union City. I love NorCal, and would be happy if I spent the rest of my life here. At the same time, I do have feelings of wanting to head back to the Midwest. I have no idea if that could be made to work, but it is something I would consider if I can make it happen. Naturally, if I can avoid the winter in doing so, that would be my preference. Waiting it out here would be nice.

Again, I have no plans to leave Cali, but I would consider it. I miss certain elements of life back in Chicago in particular. I don't think it will ever not be the place that is home to me. I go through phases when I don't feel like I am from anywhere anymore, but that usually passes in time. Chicago is where I was born, and I have been away from its orbit for a long long time. I think I would do well there, but I can't go back scraping. I shouldn't say I can't go back scraping, but I would prefer not to. I will leave it at that.

Since none of this is in any danger of happening anytime soon, I won't make too much of it. For now, I just intend to ride out the winter here, soaking up the beauty of NorCal as it greens up over the winter. That pleases me. I have been reading like a madman of late, and hope to keep that up over the winter as well - at least I could say the month's passing would be productive. Since I expect there to be some economic nastiness in the coming months, I am gonna try living on the cheap. I have enough books and music around to last years let alone these few months. My hope is that my job will drastically cut back on travel expenses, allowing me to stay home more. I love NYC, and it will always be my favorite city on earth, but the way my work trips end up going, I might as well be traveling to Fargo. I have no time for anything, and the getting there is 3/4s the misery. I am getting to a point where I have near-panic at the idea of having to travel when it comes times for these trips. I really hate them. Shame. I should be grooving on it. Alas, I don't. But enough on that.

For now, I am going on the Tussin Diet, and hoping it rains rains rains. We need the water, and dammit, I need fireworks come the spring bloom!