First flurries today. Some bite to the wind. It is impossible to not love Chicago, and even this first cold stretch is pretty righteous, but damn, I have grown soft. I miss California fall. REALLY miss it. Last night I got my first whip of lake wind in the face when turning a corner. There is literally no defense. You should have seen the look on the little Chi-hua - it was like he'd just received an alien probe or something. Poor lad.

Without doubt, it is gonna take some getting used to for me, but even worse, the little guy is feeling the pain of the move pretty heavy. For one, he has never been left home all day in the 5 years I have known him (he was a co-worker's dog before being my dog.) Every morning when I get ready, he gets himself ready and waits at the door. The look I get when I tell him he can't come is more than I can handle. That little dog has my number and works me over hard with the quivering, teary-eyed "what do you mean I can't go?" look. Killer.

I have been extremely busy at work. I am also trying to get settled in this, my first week in the new apartment. I am also kicking a 15 year opium dependence (while being sore as hell from moving and traveling so much - just when I need the meds, I don't have them!) I may live to regret going dope-free. I knew I would be in pain every day, but if it is like it has been, I am not sure what I am gonna do. I know the good doctor's never let you go back up in dose, so I kinda am farked.

Anyhoo - cutting meds has screwed my brain chemistry royally. Add that to the usual "It's Dark At 5pm" thing, and I am stuck in one of those elephant on my chest bouts of depression. I really should avoid making any big life decisions for awhile, but I am not sure the planet is going to allow me such luxuries. Part of this move was designed to force me to get some self-discipline going, the logic being a long winter indoors on a money-diet and sans auto will force me to do the things I know I am supposed to. This may yet work, but the crush of what that will actually entail has initiated my usual flight instincts.

Ideally, my upcoming trip to Japan will a chance to decompress. I need it badly. Nevertheless, between now and then, most of same. It has already stopped with the flurries and the sun is back out. I wish it was snowing again. It just looks awesome. Anyhoo. Working on keeping things up to date once I get some internet up in my casa. Things are still pretty spartan, but as always, I am trying to get things rolling. Thing roll a little slower when they have to keep going uphill. What's one to do?